One of the biggest problems one can find in taking part in this phenomenon called group sex is its threat to how one understands sexual satisfaction. In today’s world, the phrase “more is always better” has been accepted as a custom. And this is not to be contested with regard to things that truly better the lives of people. However, there has been a lack of discernment on what is really beneficial and because of this many have wrongly believed that more of anything and everything is always better. This mentality, when placed in the wrong context, can easily cause damage to the lives of people. Take for instance the frequent example of alcoholic beverage consumption, while it has been evidenced that moderate drinking can lower risks of heart disease, overconsumption can actually cause death because of the same disease. Over indulgence of anything is harmful, and it is not a different story when it comes to matters of sex. The nature of sex is to be that which deepens the relationships of couples. By engaging in sexual intercourse, a new dimension in the relationship is opened, one which includes an elevated sense of satisfaction and comfort with your lover. This however is only precise when in the context of marriage – for it is not enough to only claim that sex is best situated in the context of marriage; rather the claim should be that sex is to be situated solely in the context of marriage. Therefore it is tragic when people engage in sexual intercourse outside marriage for they miss the precision of this supposed satisfaction that marital sex can give. The sad truth is that non-marital sex is prevalent in this day and age. Digging deeper we will find that in the different degrees by which non-marital sex is practiced, the degrees of the consequence it garners also vary. For instance, when a woman engages in group sex, she is probably more inclined to feel guilt than when engaged in non-marital sex with her boyfriend. Group sex has high degrees of consequences, and involved in it is not only guilt but also deeper issues such as a distorted view of sexual satisfaction that God intended for human beings to experience.

 In Richard M. Stephenson’s article, Social Problems, he cited a research that was conducted to find out what types of people are actually involved in group sex. It was discovered that a significant number of those who engaged in group sex were regularly conformists (whether married or not) to other aspects of life – that is to say that they were the kind of people who followed norms or even rules set by society. One of the reasons they gave for involving themselves in group sex was that one of the satisfactions group sex gave them was that of “increased quality, quantity and frequency of sex”. Some couples even attributed their improved sexual performance because of the new experience they have encountered in engaging in group sex. Some of them claimed that they found it as an enhancement to their relationships because it spiced up their otherwise “conventional” sex lives. (Stephenson, 1973)

What is the conventional sex life? Is it not the kind of sex life that is was supposed to be? That is to say, isn’t it that the conventionality of sex life is its actual nature? This nature can then be traced back to how God intended human sexuality to be – one which radiates a “language of love”, as Lauren Winner would put it. Group sex definitely goes against this conventional nature of sex because not only does it demote that language of love that was meant for spouses, it also damages the view of the joy of sexual intercourse the spouses supposedly share. In saying that people who are involved in group sex get satisfaction from increased frequency of sex is an indication that they are no longer adequately satisfied with the normal, intended frequency of conventional sex. This in turn has consequences in marriage.

In Duane Denfeld’s article, The Family Coordinator, another research was conducted for the counselors who have had patients that quit the lifestyle of group sex. From the nine hundred and sixty-five questionnaires that the counselors answered, some of the reasons for their counselees’’ quitting were: the feelings of guilt, emotional attachments that were developed outside of the committed relationships, fear of discovery, threat to marriage, boredom, and many more. Even if the reasons why the couples quit are not really surprising, it is noteworthy that those reasons were precisely a contradiction to the opinions of the people mentioned in Stephenson’s article. The couples engaged in group sex soon found out that the activity was no longer exciting enough, no longer satisfying enough. Many of the couples also found the activity leading to a threat to their marital bond because of jealousy that caused more fighting between them. (Denfeld, 1974) This is not unlike the example of overconsumption of alcoholic beverage. Engaging in sexual intercourse was supposed to be in the context of marriage so when these couples went overboard, they suffered the consequences. According to the Christian teaching, the grace of God in terms of sexual intercourse was only available for those who were in the sacramental marriage of which conditions was that those who are part of it are a man and a woman, and that their relationship is shared and approved with and by the community of Christ’s body. 


Denfeld, D. (1974). Dropouts from Swinging. The Family Coordinator , 45-49.

Stephenson, R. M. (1973). Involvement in Deviance: An Example and Some Theoretical Implications. Social Problems , 173-190 .

 
I’m a full blooded Chinese, and just like my parents, I was born and raised in the Philippines. This being, we’ve been detached from the traditional Chinese culture and have been used to some of the Filipino (and Western) customs.  Nevertheless, our family, and particularly I took great pride of our ethnicity and have always been convinced that our race was the best there was. One of the biggest ethnocentric attitudes I had was that when people complimented me for my complexion, I felt really proud; I thought being “white” was the standard of beauty and people who were darker were plainly unfortunate. There were even some moments of my life where I considered not marrying Filipino men as to not “taint” the complexion of my bloodline. To my surprise, skin colour apparently plays a big role in health; and in terms of being prone to skin cancer, darker people are at the advantage.

                Another thing that caused me to think ethnocentrically was because apart from the Filipinos I knew from the limited society I revolved in, I had stereotypical ideas about the rest of the Filipino people –the labels of being lazy, inferior, and lowly. Being in this age and society where multimedia access can give you information regarding just about everything, I was conditioned that I had the power to be familiar with everything, therefore I had the notion that the simplistic things I knew about Filipinos enabled me to truly understand the entirety of the Filipino culture.

                I now realize that I’ve just been exposed to a very little fraction of the culture and its people’s fascinating nature – to say at the least, their exotic beauty and sophistication throughout generations. I’ve never known enough because I’ve always been in my comfort zone- my home, my school and my routine schedules, all this has deprived me from seeing the bigger picture. When I became aware of the world beyond me, I realized that the even the rich culture of the Philippines by itself can be very overwhelming, what more for all the other parts of the world.  Now I just regret that I can only experience so much. If I could, I would marry myself into each and every culture, live in each era there will be even if it means to just to have a glimpse of the world’s rich diversity. I know now that one life time is not enough, and I certainly would not want to waste it by confining myself in my comfort zone. Indeed I want the world to be my oyster.

    Author

      I am a Chinese girl who has been residing in the Philippines for as long as I can remember. Like most people who have blogs, I don't write for a living. I write to de-clutter my mind and unravel my hidden sentiments.

    "     I've been having trouble fleshing out my innermost thoughts. I want to live vividly. The rich emotions are overflowing inside me. But there is a hindrance, a blocking wall refraining me from pouring out my feelings into the waking life. It is the urgent need for perfection I am so enthusiastic to attain that suppresses my ability to live out my dreams."

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